• Azizah

7 Steps to Find the Love You Deserve

This week on my podcast, I spoke to Dating Coach Dina Brenci. We spoke about a topic many people search for on the internet, "How to find Love?". Dina's approach is beautiful and personal. It involves raising your vibrational frequency. In order to do this, you have to know what it is that you want. Now, if we're being honest, some of us are saying, "I just want someone to love me". I remember being there; just wanting someone to love me, and it didn't get me far. It gave me relationships where I was constantly trying to prove my worth, while also trying my hardest to confirm that despite their adverse actions, that they did in fact love me. ,

Here's how I rectified that problem:

1. I began to love me. Whew! If step number 1 occurred for me years ago, lol. This was a game changer because the love that I "just wanted someone to give me", was the love that I wasn't giving to myself.

2. I stopped making excuses for warning signs in the men I would date. Talk about desperation! Don't feel bad if this is you. Stick with me sis, and this won't be you for long. We are all constantly evolving. That's understandable. However, if someone is showing you a side of them that doesn't sit right, it's time to move on.

3. I stopped noticing potential, and saw people for who they were in those moments. Check out this analogy and try not to be too sensitive about it, "Garbage, is Garbage". We can't talk about how some things can be refurbished and made to look new. You're working hard, digging through the trash, trying to fix what's broken. The only person, that can fix that person, is.....that person!

4. I realized my worth. When you know who you are, steps 2 and 3 are no longer a problem. A "hello", can easily turn into a "goodbye". Not because you are not invested in sticking it out through hard times. It's because you are clear on what you are willing and not willing to accept.

5. I learned it was OK to be judgmental. So, some of you probably cringed when reading these steps. "Why is she so harsh?". There is nothing harsh about setting standards. I feel that as women we are encouraged to be the nurturer so much, that we feel shame in recognizing another persons flaws and saying it's not what I want. Be judgmental when it comes to choosing your mate. Let go of the idea that using your judgement is wrong.

6. I exercised my right to choose. There is so much power in choice. You have to exercise that power to attract your mate. We're over just looking for someone to love us. Call out what you want!

7. I realized that I was deserving of love. How many of us think that we are undeserving of love? I haven't taken a poll, but I would guess the number is pretty high. I'm basing that off of the conversations I've had and how I once felt myself. You can't attract something if you have any doubts about you deserving it. You are deserving of love Queen, from yourself first. Then using the steps above, and allowing the rest to fall in line.


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